Morons driving cars and bitches with Tourettes...

Okay, let me preface this with the acknowledgment that I may think I am the most considerate and thoughtful driver out there, when in fact I am probably totally pissing off everyone within a one mile radius due to my driving skills...or lack thereof...that being said, let the bitching begin!!!

I am one hundred percent positive that THE MOST MORONIC DRIVER'S IN THE WORLD all have children who attend the same school as my kids.

That ain't even funny.

My kiddos attend a charter school that does not offer busing and we live a few miles away...so my crazy little animals have to be transported to and from school every day.  No biggie.  I signed up for parenthood(see previous post on this damn blog somewhere) and I accept that it is work...work that includes serving as a chauffeur who drives a well loved minivan and never gets tips.  Oh well.

So anyway, back to the morons...

First of all, I think there should be a law that you CANNOT leave your car running and then walk away...stroll across the parking lot...hustle on over and make chit chat with a friend...move any farther than two feet away from your vehicle that is currently ON and a possible machine of death if some child decides to get in and screw around.  And when these dumb ass people do it when their car is the one DIRECTLY in front of mine...HO   LEE   SHIT!!!  They obviously cannot read my lips as I cuss them out and shake my fist in fury.

Secondly, I do not understand what sort of nitwit would look at the pick-up lane, see that everyone is parked on the right side and then exiting in the left of the lane...and decide to sit in the mothertruckin' left lane.  HO  LEE  SHIT!!!  Do they not realize that I have shit to do, places to go, other morons to obsess over?!  Seriously people.  Tobi is here.  Pay attention.

  

In my moments of insanity and rage, when I am getting depressed about the fact that I cannot jam my minivan into the back of that gas guzzling SUV in front of me...I sit open mouthed and agog, in wonder at the absolute selfishness of these other drivers.  I do, I really do.  My kids are just as important as yours(well, a lot more important as they have my blood running through their veins and will probably change the world someday)...I have things to do as well(mostly just Farmville and thinking of snarky things to create a blog about)...and I want to get outta that clusterfuck too! 

Besides, someone might recognize me as the PTO President...and how would that look when I am flipping off another parent and doing my best impersonation of a drunken sailor?!  Don't fret, I have a plan.  I will just have to pretend I have Tourette's and hit the gas like a champ!